The Big 5-0

So it finally happened yesterday.  184.9 - 50.1 pounds lost in less than 6 months..  exciting stuff!  Although it's coming off much slower at this point, it's nice to reach a numbers goal that like - it'll keep me reaching for the next one.

Granted, I shouldn't have celebrated by going out to Fridays and then Friendly's.  I still can't say at this point by behavior has changed 100%.  Sometimes, I wonder with overeaters, if that can ever truly be attained.  I'm think of going to an OA meeting.  I  need support outside of my husband and colleagues.  I need someone I can call when I'm about to cement a bad decision and put down 3900 calories (which is what I essentially did last night - one burger with fries at 1600 calories, two LI Iced Teas at 900 calories, one 5-scoop sundae with the works at 1400 calories).  This is after consuming less than 500 calories all day and working off about 400.

When I got married i was approximately 168-170 lbs, so that is my next goal.  I remember feeling really thin at that point, so it will interesting to see.  I find that everything is relative.  At this point, I feel thin, but seeing pictures I'm not happy at all.  I went and got a haircut last night to make me feel better about myself.  I also bought a gym bad, headband (to protect my eyes from sweat since I just had lasik), and some nice headphones to assist at the gym.  I'm also going gym shopping with the hubby this weekend.  Maybe I need to switch things up.

I like to reflect throughout my journey - here are some things I've noticed:

• My shadow has curves - I look thinner in my shadow self.
• I can bend down and tie my shoes without losing my breathe.
• I can run up the stairs without losing my breathe.
• My center of balance (according to Wii Fit) is almost always perfect.
• I can walk the 3-mile loop at work with nearly no effort.
• I fit in a chair better - there's extra space!
• I fit into clothes that aren't plus size - some are even large, not XL.
• I crave exercise when I don't have time to do it.
• I feel like shit when I eat poorly (but I'm still hungry at times while I cut calories).

I told my husband last night once I reach my goal of 130 and maintain it for at least 3 months, I will make an appointment to get another sleeve tattoo.  That will be my motivation, beyond the whole healthier lifestyle, like the way I look thing.

Until next time..