I hate Zumba.

Took my first Zumba class last night and hated it.  I don't know if it was because I was one of 40 in the class and found myself "dancing" halfway out the door, or because I couldn't pick up the moves from said doorway.  Or maybe because I found myself amidst lonely housewifes that were barking up the wrong tree of the obviously gay instructor.  The whole thing wasn't cute at all.

I will stick with my cardio kickboxing.

This weekend, I went to Philly and enjoyed multiple cheesesteaks and various other delicious, mouth-watering things, including beer ALL DAY LONG.  I guess it was the walking, I only gained 2.6 lbs. and after two days, I'm back down to where I started from (almost).

May I finish the workweek in the 177s (that's how I roll nearly 60lbs down, every tenth of a pound matters.  :)

I Welcome the 170s..

Friday I reached an all time low at 179.8.  Hey, it's new numbers, I'll take it, .8 and all!  Of course, in usual fashion, I celebrated the weekend with excess calories and lack of exercise, but I went back on the horse today.  Didn't get to the gym with all the end-of-the-semester schoolwork, but tomorrow is more kickboxing!  And I've got leftovers in the fridge, which means NO EXCUSE!

Food for Today:
1/2 skim milk with 1 cup Special K, cinnamon and splenda (my own version of Cinnamon Toast Crunch, ya see..)
Low Fat Progresso's Cream of Mushroom soup with 2 T. croutons
1 orange
Homemade sweet and sour chicken with rice
1 chocolate/vanilla Dixie cup (remember those?)

Another reflection..things I've thought in the last seven months that I hadn't thought of previously..

• Thin people watch what they eat, too.  That's why they are thin.
• It's not a diet, it's a lifestyle.
• The thinner you are, the less you get to eat.
• Every day I have a choice - to eat what I want, or look and feel like I want.  I may make different choices on different days.
• Being a food addict sucks.  It's like telling an alcoholic to just have one drink a day.
• Not everyone has the ability to understand nutrition and what works for their body.  I am lucky I have the ability to change the way I look through my understanding of nutrition and my body.
• Water makes my body run better and tastes better than soda and other garbage.
• I like working out - it makes me feel like I am capable of doing anything.
• Although I wish I could eat whatever I want at times, I like how I feel when I eat healthily.

Until next time..

The Bucket List

Today I can cross another item off my bucket list.  Seems so silly, but I went to a cardio kickboxing class tonight (by myself, I might add) and punched a bag for 15 minutes.  I punched like I've never punched before.  My husband bought me gloves over two years ago for Christmas, but I never had anyone to go with, or the guts to go myself.  Until now.  Not that I completely kept up.  Not that I wasn't going left when others were going right.  But I got through it, and I'll be going back.  So I'm excited about that.

Speaking about bucket lists, sometimes it's good to put down on paper.  The things I can think off the top of my head as of right now:

1. (Continue) kickboxing - it's a great workout, mixing things up, will teach me a bit of self defense and is a great stress reliever..
2. Live in another state - the state of Washington perhaps?
3. Live in a city for at least a year - Seattle perhaps?  I'll settle for anything urban, though.
4. Finish a second Master's degree - MA in Higher Education Administration will do.  I'm 1/20 of the way there.
5. (Continue) to actively donate blood - did it for the first time last month and dug the idea of it.
6. Learn how to swim - doggie paddle doesn't count.  I'll be the oldest person at Safety Swim alongside 2 year olds.
7. Learn how to surf - the order of this is important.
8. Own a home - came so close, but now I dig the flexibility.
9. Learn how to fix up a home - this should follow.
10. Learn how to knit - would be nice.
11. Lose another 50 pounds and keep it off - item #1 should help with this..
12. Write a memoir called "Becoming Sunflowerhappy" - hopefully will derive from this blog
13. Own a beach home - or at least a time share.
14. Become someone important at work - dean or director will do just fine.
15. (Continue) to play softball at work - but I must get better!
16. Play on a beach volleyball team - this summer perhaps?
17. Get back on a horse - don't get back on "Red"
18. Travel often - and feel comfortable navigating unchartered territory
19. Get a passport - cough it up and get my ass to New Zealand
20. Visit friends abroad - see above
21. Take a cruise to someplace beachy - once I'm down to 130 pounds, lol
22. Put myself first - so important and never done until recently
23. Put my husband second - this should have always been
24. Put my family and friends third - this is hard, but necessary

Some are short term, some are long term.  As least I have something to reference back to.  Wait - I found my bucket list from three years ago - how does it measure up?  Let's see..

1. Go jetskiing - would anyone like to join me? I forgot about this one..still should be on the list..

2. Ride a horse - this should be taken care of on my next vacation, as promised by Pete..It was (insert: Red - most terrifying experience ever)

3. Live under my own roof - it may be an apartment to start, but it's something that's a really long time coming. Check!

4. Move out of state - Long Island just isn't cutting it anymore financially or aesthetically. Yeah..still feel this way..

5. Go corporate - I love HR, but staffing is not for me. Went higher ed. instead, and like it better than corporate because I get to be my funky self..

6. Take a cooking class - doesn't matter what kind.  I just need some hands-on new ideas to take home. I like this, still have to do it!

7. Write a book - maybe a biography. Yup, yup.

8. Experience life without crying for six months - I wonder how many women out there do this regularly.  I'm a crier and I wish I wasn't. Got better since I moved out, but never have even gone more thank a week probably.  I should keep track.

9. Visit a country on another continent - been to Canada, but that's all.  Would love to go somewhere in Europe, or maybe even South Africa if I ever had the money. New Zealand will be a priority.

10. Take a post-graduate class - not now, but maybe years away.  It's good to keep educated. Good - doing that one better by being in this second Master's program.

11. Run a mile - without dying.  Sad, but I would like to try. I can make it 0.6 miles, baby.  And I will consider to try and pursue this.

Very interesting overall.  So, here was my day:

• 1 cup Special K cereal with 2/3 cup low fat chocolate milk and cinnamon (pretty crazy, I know)
• 2 pieces whole wheat weight watchers bread w/2 oz. deli buffalo chicken meat & 1/2 T. light mayo
• 1 orange
• 1 light and fit yogurt
• 1 split chicken breast w/BBQ/Buffalo sauce concoction (I didn't eat the skin and sauce, essentially)
• 3 huge broccoli spears
• 1 baked yam w/ 1 T. whipped butter, splenda and cinnamon
• 10 oz. lowfat chocolate milk

• 1 hour walking outside
• 45 minutes aerobics (cardio kickboxing)
• 15 minutes actual kickboxing

More next time..

So Close..

I'm slowly approaching new numbers.  I love new numbers, they inspire me to keep going..  I haven't seen the 170s since 2004, when I got married.  I think I only saw the 170s for several short-lived months..  I'm at 180.2 right now.

I've noticed the past two weekends that I'm really not enjoying my splurge nights like I used to.  They are almost becoming a habit, not something I'm doing just because I want a particular food.  Something to think about - maybe I don't need to "eat bad" just because it's the weekend.  Maybe I should try to go as long as possible without "cheating."  Just a thought, don't know how well it will work.

I had the best tilapia today with lemon and panko bread crumbs.  Random.

So onward - may the weather be nice this week so I can walk outside.  May I continue down this path. 50.2 pounds till goal, 11.7 until next next mini-goal.

Food Today:

• 2 cups strawberries with splenda
• 2 servings Progresso's french onion soup with 2 T. croutons and sprinkle of shredded cheddar (I wish I had mozzerella instead)
• 1 fruit cup of peaches
• 2 pieces of tilapia baked with panko bread crumbs, lemon rind and parmesan cheese mix
• 1 sweet potato with 1/2 tsp butter, cinnamon and splenda
• 1 piece cord-on-the-cob with 1/2 tsp. butter, salt & pepper
• 1/2 cup steamed spinach with lemon juice
• few spoonfuls of baked acord squash (didn't like it)

Exercise Today:

• 10 minutes on stair stepper
• 10 minutes on elliptical
• 20 minutes walking
• 45 minutes strength training

Until next time..

Happy Anniversary To Me!

Tomorrow marks my official six month anniversary of this journey, which I began on August 29, 2010.  How appropriate, considering I am very close to halfway towards my goal of 105 pounds at 51.1.  So far into it, I understand I may not reach this goal within a year as I had initially thought because weightloss slows down severely the more you lose.  But that's why I like to think of it as a journey, so I can focus on each part of it as I go along, instead of just looking at the end result.

Even at this point, I get a ton of compliments.  I've been told I look like a completely different person.  I feel great.  No more bouts of breathlessness.  I just have to get past the binging, which is becoming more and more of an issue.  I think there is direct correlation between binging and the amount of calories I'm allowed to have now.  When I first started, I was allowed around 1550 calories - now I'm down to 1190.  However, I make it a point to eat at least 1200, and I beef up the exercise.  I even joined a real gym with my husband last weekend.

Two things I've learned so far, and I can't remember if I've mentioned them already -

#1 - When someone thin is watching their weight, it isn't unnecessary, it's the reason they are thin to begin with.

#2 - The less you weigh, the less calories you burn, and the less you are able to eat and lose the same amount of weight.

Sounds so simple, but I guess it's just things I had never thought about before.  Probably is why I've never gone into 30 lbs. of weight loss before, let alone 50 lbs.

Today's food:

• Orange
• 1 T. peanut butter
• 1 T Polander's seedless raspberry preserves
• 2 slices of 50 calorie whole wheat bread
• Dannon Lite & Fit yogurt
• apple
• 3 oz. grilled chicken
• 1 1/2 cups sauteed broccoli (in Pam) w/1/2 cup red onion & sprinkle of Parmesan cheese
• baked yam w/ 1/2 tsp. whipped butter, cinnamon and splenda
• corn on the cob with 1/2 tsp. whipped butter, salt & pepper
• cup of tea with splenda

Exercise

• 1 hour of walking uphill at moderate pace
• 15 minutes of light/moderate strength training with free weights

Until next time..

Moving Right Along..

Crazy week coming up.  I have something going on every night - doctor's appointments, classes, social calls.  Now that I'm at 183.9, I'm just that more determinded to get into the 170s, but realistically it probably won't happen for another 2-3 weeks at this rate.  I was good Friday - yesterday was shot to shit once I left the house (potato chips, crackers and pizza - oh my!).  Tonight I'm going to a party, so tomorrow is another fresh start.  I don't even want to weigh myself again until next Friday.

The Big 5-0

So it finally happened yesterday.  184.9 - 50.1 pounds lost in less than 6 months..  exciting stuff!  Although it's coming off much slower at this point, it's nice to reach a numbers goal that like - it'll keep me reaching for the next one.

Granted, I shouldn't have celebrated by going out to Fridays and then Friendly's.  I still can't say at this point by behavior has changed 100%.  Sometimes, I wonder with overeaters, if that can ever truly be attained.  I'm think of going to an OA meeting.  I  need support outside of my husband and colleagues.  I need someone I can call when I'm about to cement a bad decision and put down 3900 calories (which is what I essentially did last night - one burger with fries at 1600 calories, two LI Iced Teas at 900 calories, one 5-scoop sundae with the works at 1400 calories).  This is after consuming less than 500 calories all day and working off about 400.

When I got married i was approximately 168-170 lbs, so that is my next goal.  I remember feeling really thin at that point, so it will interesting to see.  I find that everything is relative.  At this point, I feel thin, but seeing pictures I'm not happy at all.  I went and got a haircut last night to make me feel better about myself.  I also bought a gym bad, headband (to protect my eyes from sweat since I just had lasik), and some nice headphones to assist at the gym.  I'm also going gym shopping with the hubby this weekend.  Maybe I need to switch things up.

I like to reflect throughout my journey - here are some things I've noticed:

• My shadow has curves - I look thinner in my shadow self.
• I can bend down and tie my shoes without losing my breathe.
• I can run up the stairs without losing my breathe.
• My center of balance (according to Wii Fit) is almost always perfect.
• I can walk the 3-mile loop at work with nearly no effort.
• I fit in a chair better - there's extra space!
• I fit into clothes that aren't plus size - some are even large, not XL.
• I crave exercise when I don't have time to do it.
• I feel like shit when I eat poorly (but I'm still hungry at times while I cut calories).

I told my husband last night once I reach my goal of 130 and maintain it for at least 3 months, I will make an appointment to get another sleeve tattoo.  That will be my motivation, beyond the whole healthier lifestyle, like the way I look thing.

Until next time..