Getting back on the horse. Man, does it suck.

My name is SuNFLoWeRHaPPy and I'm a food addict.

I didn't do so well the week before I went on vacation - so I would say it's been close to two weeks that I've been "off."  I tried yesterday to get back on the horse, and due to circumstances outside my weight issues, I literally had a fit and made a plate of nachos and had a beer.  Today, I okay - a little less than 1400 calories and burned about 450 calories.  I'm starving and my mood is fluctuating like an addict trying avoid her "fix."  I'm not sure who I feel bad for more - myself for feeling starved and dejected or my husband for putting up with me.

I was down to 174.2 and I weighed 185.5 when I came back - pitiful, terrible, disgusting.  My face, my stomach, my back and my arms all look blown up.  Maybe it's the salt.  As of this morning, even with my pitiful binge yesterday, I was down to 181.6.  My goal is to get back down to my lowest by next weekend.

I need to really get this moving towards my goal. I'm too close to my next mini-goal of 168.5 to be gaining so much weight back.  From there, I only have another 18.5 lbs. to be 150 and then an additional 20 to my goal of 130.

I tried on clothes when I was away.  I fit into 12's still, and medium for some shirts and large for others.  Please, please, please, let me get back on the wagon and continue in the fight against this horrible addiction.