Many a hand has scaled the grand old face of the plateau..

Some belonged to strangers, some to folks you know
Holy ghosts and talk show hosts are planted in the sand
To beautify the foothills, and shake the many hands

Nothing on the top but a bucket and a mop
And an illustrated book about birds
See a lot up there but don't be scared
Who needs action when you (got) words

Finished with the mop then you can stop
And look at what you've done
The plateau's clean, no dirt to be seen
And the work it was fun

Nothing on the top but a bucket and a mop
And an illustrated book about birds
See a lot up there but don't be scared
Who needs action when you (got) words

Many a hands began to scan around for the next plateau
Some say it was Greenland, and some say Mexico
Others decided it was nowhere except for where they stood
But those were all just guesses, wouldn't help you if they could

_______________________________________________

I'm so bummed out today.  Six whole days with 1.5 pounds of weight GAIN and I've been exercising more than ever and have not gone beyond my caloric limits at ALL.  It's so dissapointing - once 209.5, I am now 211 as of this morning.

I just read online that sometimes you have to break the nutritional and physical habits to shock your system, so you can continue to lose weight.  Many times when you restrict calories and get used to an exercise plan, the lack of calories sends you into starvation mode where your body holds onto calories, and you metabolism drops.  Maybe that is what's happening once I reached the 25.5 spot.  Or maybe I'm getting close to ovulation, although with my body who the hells knows.

I'm bummed.  I went to McDonalds and had a hamburger happy meal with diet soda and an ice cream cone.  Thought if I ate closer to my 2100 maintenance calories, I would have better luck over the weekend.  We shall see.

I will keep you posted.

Dragging my feet today..

I woke up in a bad mood and all I want to do is eat.  I have no energy and I'm nervous about what will happen when I go home.  Thankfully, I have a fridge stocked only with food I can eat, but it will take all my energy not to make a pitstop on the way home, which I haven't done since I started this "diet."

I'm getting frustrated because the scale actually moved UP .5 pounds and I've been excercising more than ever - over an hour a day for the past two days and staying under net calories.  I read an article online today about how you can plateau after losing 10-20% of your weight, maybe that's what's happening since I just reached the 10% mark.

I really don't want off the bandwagon - I just need to get over this hump. 

I was running..

Today, I reached a small milestone.  It sounds really stupid, but for the first time I was able to run for over two minutes at a time.  At 209.5 pounds and a previous leg/knee injury, it is no small feat, although I'm sure it sounds silly to anyone who is able to jog without any trouble at all.  I wonder how sore I will be in the morning.

I figured now that I'm nearing the two month mark, I really have to kick it up a notch.  It's not good to reduce your calorie intake, because your body will go into starvation mode.  My only other alternative is to either excercise longer or harder.  Even if I only get to cardio every other day, if I start jogging in small increments, I will lose more weight.  And of course, the less i weigh, the less it will hurt.  When I jog now, my chin flaps - which makes me even more motivated to lose this goddamn weight once and for all.

If you are a dieter and have ever struggled with your weight - the worst thing ever is when you feel really good about yourself - that first 20-30 pounds really makes a difference inside - but then you look in the mirror or in photos and you're still pretty unacceptably overweight.  It's really dejecting, and subsequently makes me want to completely binge.  But I'm trying to motivate myself.  The more I keep up what I'm doing, and the less I cheat - I could really by average-sized in less than a year.  I've lost 25.5 pounds so far and if I lose between 8-10 each month I will be at my goal weight by August 2011.  That's pretty amazing.

The staff photo that originally set me into panic mode (along with the half hour it took to zip my dress without ripping it) was recently retaken, and what a difference!  Of course the picture itself was just better, but I think the weight made a 50% difference overall.  And I'm really starting to like working out.  I think this is the longest time I've stayed motivated out of all my dieting ventures.

I have one month to lose 10 pounds exactly.  That will bring me under 200 - which I haven't been in about 5 years (that I can remember).  Bring it on!

Until next time..

After the Madness..

After a bachelorette party where I drank over 3000 calories and a wedding where I danced it all off, and a week of the flu where I pigged out incessantly, I am finally back to where I was after two days of dieting.  Total weight loss of 22.5 pounds at 212.5 during my 8th week of dieting.  I'm really hoping to get below 200 before Thanksgiving.  I have to start excercising this week, since I wasn't able to all last week being sick.

So tonight the plan is to do laundry and walk the track while it's drying.  That's right.  I am the eternal multi-tasker.  And I already have my meals cooked for the week so there is no excuse!

Until next time..

First goal reached..

I weighed myself yesterday, even though I was really trying to only do it once a week.  The scale said 214.  I've officially lost 21 pounds in five and a half weeks, in time for my sister's wedding.  I tried on my dress last weekend and the top was a little baggy, may need some help taking in the straps.  But the rest of it fits great. I zipped it up in 3 seconds instead of a half hour as I had 5 1/2 weeks ago.. Too bad it's still a size 24.  Damn formal wear - in regular clothes I'm an 18/20.

They say the best way to stay on track is to set small goals for yourself.  My first was to lose 20 pounds by October 15th.  My second is to be under 200 pounds by Thanksgiving - which at a month and a half away, I believe it's a reasonable goal.  After that, my next goal is to be under 168.5.  A funny number, I know.  But that is the least amount I've weighed since I hit 20 and how much I weighed the day I got married.  Following that, my next will be 150, and finally 130.

Things I've noticed with 20 pounds shed: I haven't been short of breathe, my clothing fits better, I can walk up stairs with ease, and I feel more energized all around. 

It's funny that I haven't changed sizes yet, but I'm pretty sure that's because the way plus-size woman's clothing is designed.  When you're normal-sized you're a 4 or 8.  As you get bigger, the sizes merge together - 14/16, 26/28.  I take this to mean, "you are so out of control - wear this - it's a size 17,18,19,20 - it should cover you fine, and once you lose 40 pounds, congratulations - you'll be a 13,14,15,16.."

Now just get me through the weekend events without drinking 3000 worth of calories.

Moving right along..

The fifth successful week is coming to an end.  So far, I've lost 18.5 pounds and I'm 1.5 pounds away from my 20 pound goal by October 15th.  It's weird - usually I'm fighting it the whole way to 20 and then I immediately give up.  But this time, I'm really working on not depriving myself from food I like to eat.  I'm just fitting it into the allotted calories allowed for the day.  I'm also not setting unrealistic goals for myself, such as never going over my calorie intake, or excerising everyday.  I do what I can.

I can feel a difference when I try on t-shirts that were previously too tight on me.  Nothing too crazy - they are mostly men's extra large, so it's not like I'm tiny now or anything.  But for me it's a step in the right direction.

Till next time..