Really rough summer. I'm trying to figure out where it all went wrong. I think the biggest part of it has been fighting infertility. That will kill you quick. Between the three hormones prescriptions I'm on, the increased responsibilities at work and taking summer classes, I lost it and lost it good. I'm talking ice cream every night, giving in to every craving. The only thing I haven't completely lost track of is buying healthy food. Other than ice cream (which is bad enough), I'm still buying the yogurts, and fruit and whole wheat bread. I'm still starting off the day with a tall glass of water, my vitamins and a healthy breakfast. I'm not even sure how much I weight right now, but last week I was 187.8 or something horrible to that effect.
My first round of IUI was unsuccessful, and my second round of hormones was unsuccessful. I'm scheduled for another round of IUI/hormones this month, but at the rate I'm gaining weight my RE says I'm better off restricting/exercising at the rate I was than gain weight at this rate. She told me that a week ago, and I planned on getting right back on the horse. And then all this hurricane crap, and my family staying with us in our 1.5 bedroom apartment...so now, I'm left with no excuse but to start. I'm starving right now, but I figure that's a good start to tomorrow.
Let's face it - I feel like shit. I have my spare tire again, my new clothes are getting tight. And if I do get pregnant, I will be gaining weight on top of this. If I don't get pregnant, I will be so depressed to be not pregnant and fat, that I will probably gain everything back I lost plus more. So tonight, it's back on baby until I get that positive pregnancy test. You heard it first here.
First weigh-in is tomorrow.
