Happy Anniversary To Me!

Tomorrow marks my official six month anniversary of this journey, which I began on August 29, 2010.  How appropriate, considering I am very close to halfway towards my goal of 105 pounds at 51.1.  So far into it, I understand I may not reach this goal within a year as I had initially thought because weightloss slows down severely the more you lose.  But that's why I like to think of it as a journey, so I can focus on each part of it as I go along, instead of just looking at the end result.

Even at this point, I get a ton of compliments.  I've been told I look like a completely different person.  I feel great.  No more bouts of breathlessness.  I just have to get past the binging, which is becoming more and more of an issue.  I think there is direct correlation between binging and the amount of calories I'm allowed to have now.  When I first started, I was allowed around 1550 calories - now I'm down to 1190.  However, I make it a point to eat at least 1200, and I beef up the exercise.  I even joined a real gym with my husband last weekend.

Two things I've learned so far, and I can't remember if I've mentioned them already -

#1 - When someone thin is watching their weight, it isn't unnecessary, it's the reason they are thin to begin with.

#2 - The less you weigh, the less calories you burn, and the less you are able to eat and lose the same amount of weight.

Sounds so simple, but I guess it's just things I had never thought about before.  Probably is why I've never gone into 30 lbs. of weight loss before, let alone 50 lbs.

Today's food:

• Orange
• 1 T. peanut butter
• 1 T Polander's seedless raspberry preserves
• 2 slices of 50 calorie whole wheat bread
• Dannon Lite & Fit yogurt
• apple
• 3 oz. grilled chicken
• 1 1/2 cups sauteed broccoli (in Pam) w/1/2 cup red onion & sprinkle of Parmesan cheese
• baked yam w/ 1/2 tsp. whipped butter, cinnamon and splenda
• corn on the cob with 1/2 tsp. whipped butter, salt & pepper
• cup of tea with splenda

Exercise

• 1 hour of walking uphill at moderate pace
• 15 minutes of light/moderate strength training with free weights

Until next time..

Moving Right Along..

Crazy week coming up.  I have something going on every night - doctor's appointments, classes, social calls.  Now that I'm at 183.9, I'm just that more determinded to get into the 170s, but realistically it probably won't happen for another 2-3 weeks at this rate.  I was good Friday - yesterday was shot to shit once I left the house (potato chips, crackers and pizza - oh my!).  Tonight I'm going to a party, so tomorrow is another fresh start.  I don't even want to weigh myself again until next Friday.

The Big 5-0

So it finally happened yesterday.  184.9 - 50.1 pounds lost in less than 6 months..  exciting stuff!  Although it's coming off much slower at this point, it's nice to reach a numbers goal that like - it'll keep me reaching for the next one.

Granted, I shouldn't have celebrated by going out to Fridays and then Friendly's.  I still can't say at this point by behavior has changed 100%.  Sometimes, I wonder with overeaters, if that can ever truly be attained.  I'm think of going to an OA meeting.  I  need support outside of my husband and colleagues.  I need someone I can call when I'm about to cement a bad decision and put down 3900 calories (which is what I essentially did last night - one burger with fries at 1600 calories, two LI Iced Teas at 900 calories, one 5-scoop sundae with the works at 1400 calories).  This is after consuming less than 500 calories all day and working off about 400.

When I got married i was approximately 168-170 lbs, so that is my next goal.  I remember feeling really thin at that point, so it will interesting to see.  I find that everything is relative.  At this point, I feel thin, but seeing pictures I'm not happy at all.  I went and got a haircut last night to make me feel better about myself.  I also bought a gym bad, headband (to protect my eyes from sweat since I just had lasik), and some nice headphones to assist at the gym.  I'm also going gym shopping with the hubby this weekend.  Maybe I need to switch things up.

I like to reflect throughout my journey - here are some things I've noticed:

• My shadow has curves - I look thinner in my shadow self.
• I can bend down and tie my shoes without losing my breathe.
• I can run up the stairs without losing my breathe.
• My center of balance (according to Wii Fit) is almost always perfect.
• I can walk the 3-mile loop at work with nearly no effort.
• I fit in a chair better - there's extra space!
• I fit into clothes that aren't plus size - some are even large, not XL.
• I crave exercise when I don't have time to do it.
• I feel like shit when I eat poorly (but I'm still hungry at times while I cut calories).

I told my husband last night once I reach my goal of 130 and maintain it for at least 3 months, I will make an appointment to get another sleeve tattoo.  That will be my motivation, beyond the whole healthier lifestyle, like the way I look thing.

Until next time..

Longest day ever..

Since the new year, I have lost 13 pounds, but for whatever reason I feel dejected and discouraged at every turn.  I eat within my calories about 70% of the time (weekends I am more laxed) and I exercise regularly.  I'm losing between 1/2 and 2 lbs per week.  I'm even down to a size 14 in most stores, and lost 1 inch is my waist in the last month.  What am I still so discouraged?

Today (so far):
-1 1/2 cups grapes
-1 light and fit dannon yogurt
-2 1/4 oz. buffalo turkey breast on whole wheat flat bread
-1 orange
-1 light and fit dannon yogurt

Tonight (hopefully only)
-Applebees under 550 meal

Yesterday:
-2 oz. maple turkey breast
-1 cup grapes
-1 2/3 oz. maple turkey breast on whole wheat flat bread
-1 light and fit dannon yogurt
-1 apple
-1 orange
-1 3 oz. grilled chicken with 1/2 cup spinach sauteed with onions and garlic
-1/4 cup feta, crumbled
-2 T. parmesan cheese, grated
-1 baked yam w/ 1/2 tsp. whipped butter, cinnamon and splenda
-1 cup mixed green and wax beans, steamed
-1 minibun (bitesize)
-1 small lollipop
-1 blue bunny ice cream sandwich chopped up with 3 T. Cool Whip