No. It's really not that bad. It's just been a bad week or so. How come when I'm good, I'm great, but when I'm bad, I'm really, really, really, really bad? My weight it still around the same - I'm teetering around 177.something. I haven't lost anything significant in two weeks - I would have if I didn't go off the wagon the last two days.
Take last week for instance - there was an unexpected buffet of veggies, fruits.....and dips, chips last week. I started off good - some fruit and veggies, one pita chip. They I went back for more veggies. Then more fruit. Then more chips and dip. Then one serving of dessert. Then my second serving of dessert. By the time I got a hold of myself I had over 2000 calories of snacks, so then I went home and made fried chicken too. This was on a Wednesday. I have true problems with binge eating. It's terrible.
Today, again. I got back from my 3 mile walk at lunch. Had some popcorn and chocolate. Went on another 3 mile walk after work. Went out to a bar for mashed potatoes, beer and hamburger. Then stopped for ice cream by myself on the way home. Seriously - what the fuck is wrong with me?
I'm trying to use the excuse that I'm getting my period this week - or that work is really stressful - or that I've been going out of town every weekend and nothing is more exciting than trying food in different places - but really? Is all of this necessary? Not to mention, last night (Wednesday night), I drank an entire bottle of champagne all by myself as a way to calm myself down from a hectic day at work. Really? This isn't good.
I'll keep writing and my intention is to get back on the horse after my third weekend trip this month, when I return on Monday. I also have the day off, so it will be a day of the five hour workout perhaps. Get things started the right way. This is just ridiculous at this point. I don't want to gain a bunch of weight back before I get back on the horse.
I'm so close to 60 pounds I can taste it. Wait - maybe not the best analogy....
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